Finally and Funnily Enough

     Okay, so the news that's breaking at the moment is that the second of the two terrorists responsible for the Boston tragedy was apprehended in a boat after being discovered by helicopters equipped with heat sensing cameras has been shot and apprehended. First off, hurray! One more disturbed criminal off the streets and behind bars is one less terrorist for us to worry about in these trying times.

    Secondly, there was another boat that was searched first. And therein lies my story.

"Huh. I wonder where he's going with this..."

Oh, God, Why?

     I... I just don't know anymore. I used to think that there was some good left in modern American culture, or at least pop culture, but even that has been shaken to its core. To preface: This truly is a tragic day for all of geekdom. Prepare your torches and pitchforks and set your sights on Hollywood, because I have a premonition that this development will be the straw that breaks the camel's back. I mean, one can only take so much before the pot boils over, and I think the gas on the burner has just been turned up to the crucial setting. 

     "Is it truly the Apocalypse?" shout the cowering masses as panic begins to grip the crowded streets. "Can the rumors be true? Surely there is some mistake?!" 

    Brother, don't I wish. Don't I wish that there was some mistake--that this really is some cosmic blunder. But no, it appears that the ghastly rumors are true. The worst nightmare has become reality. 

     J. J. Abrams is putting Jar Jar Binks in Star Wars VII. 

     

"Oh, Jesus have mercy! Run! Forget the children! Save yourselllvvvess..."