The Penultimate Straw

This has become a little obsolete even before I publish it, as the political figures in question have become a sort of punchline of late, but I feel as if my two cents, for what they're worth (probably significantly less than two cents), should be contributed to the sea of screaming trolls that is the internet.

     So, the topic of today's rambling, incoherent rant on politics: Politicians rambling incoherently. What political figures will I be talking about ramblingly and incoherently, specifically? Well, since you asked:

You should watch this, if you somehow haven't seen it already. 

   There is one other authority figure that I will be spitting on and directing my incalcuable fury at today, though. Who might that be? you ask. 

     Do I even have to tell you? 

              

                                     

Yep, I'm jumping on this bandwagon. 

C'thulhu Wgah'nagl Fhtagn

     No, I didn't just slam my fists on the keyboard and hit enter for the title. That statement, or, rather, a phrase within a larger statement, is a pop-culture phemenomenon nearly as old as, well, pop culture (or, depending on how you look at it, as old as the universe itself). Conceived by a madman to populate the minds of fictional madmen who, in turn, were also conceived by the aforementioned non-fictional madman, the full phrase is "ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn." Roughly translated- and, boy, do I mean roughly as there is no indication of any grammar or sentence structure- this phrase means "In his house at R'lyeh, the dead Cthulhu waits dreaming." First documented, fictionally, in the Necronomicon by Abdul "The Mad Arab" Ahalzred and, in reality, by H.P. Lovecraft in pulp magazines, this is the motto of the Cthulhu Cult. 

      I'm sure, of course, that many of my presumed readers are familiar with the Cthulhu Cult and the Necronomicon, or at least Cthulhu! So, what previous exposure do you have, Dear Reader, to the wondrous beast from afar known as Cthulhu? 

      I see... Well, this won't do at all. What, then, do you know about the Necronomicon? 

     Surely, you must be joking. This... this schock is the only encounter you've had with H.P. Lovecraft's legendary legacy? Isn't there anything else you know about Lovecraftian horror motifs?! 

Honestly, I don't know why I even bother. 

     Well, it looks like I have a lot of work ahead of me. Read on, true believers or those wishing to convert to the one true faith in the Great Old Ones, and we shall explore the depths of the author's madness and the impact the Cthulhu Mythos has had on the world as we know it. 

Paranormally Good

     I first started this whole internet endeavor with the intention of analyzing and recommending films (inspired by my heroes, Bob Chipman and Doug Walker) and it seems that I finally have the chance to share with you, the Internet, the glorious Holy Grail of family cinema, ParaNorman.

     To make a long story short and spolier free, ParaNorman is quite possibly the best animated movie since The Iron Giant, which, in turn, was the best animated movie sense Walt Disney died.

     To make a long story full-length and partially spoiler free, but not entirely, read on, Dear Reader, and discover ParaNorman.

Erie Resemblances

     As you might have noticed, I've been writing a lot about Alan Moore's magnum opus Watchmen lately. As I promised, this latest post is not about creating a Rorschach costume. In fact, I don't plan on touching on Rorschach that much at all in this article- I mean, what's the purpose blathering on and on about a character many of you, Dear Readers, are unfamiliar with. Instead, allow me to enlighten you on the subject of Watchmen's plot. Don't worry, I won't give away any major spoilers to the end of the book, although I may not be able to help myself when it comes to spoling minor plot twists from the rest of the novel.

    So... where to begin? How can I relate the entire bizarre scenario of such a twisted novel to a presumptuously ignorant fan-base? I have an idea! How about I compare the various plot elements and characters of Watchmen to a narrative that you, Dear Reader, are more familiar with? That's how I taught my friend about the plot to the Inheritance Cycle: (which I shall elaborate upon in a later post, perhaps the next one) I just told him: "Imagine Star Wars, but in the Middle Ages. And with dragons."

    Can anybody guess what analogue I'm going to draw between Watchmen and a more accessible franchise? Go on, guess!

Never Compromise, Even in the Face of Armageddon

     And now, Dear Readers, it's the moment you've all been waiting for! The final, epic installation in the "How Does one Dress up Like Rorschach Trilogy." We've been through details about the importance of the character in geek culture, the significance of the various aspects of his costume, and the difficulties one encounters when trying to recreate his uniform. At long last, we get to see how one can go about learning the proper techniques and assembling a fully-functional and totally bitchin' Rorschach cosplay.

In case you were wondering, Maggie is Rorschach. 

The other characters are a story for another time.

Unless you want to read the book, which you should. 

When We Last Left Our Hero...

When We Last Left Our Hero... 

     The Almost Average Teenager was about to tell the audience that he may or may not have about the dangers of donning an outfit that is intended to be a replica of the costume worn by Rorschach: psychotic, murderous superhero and protagonist of Watchmen. 

        But wait! cry my hypothetical readers. 

     Why would you dress up as a psychopath to go to Comic Con? 

     Well, isn't it obvious, Dear Readers? Rorschach is a badass. Instead of superpowers, he uses the world around him as his weapon! He never compromises, even in the face of nuclear Armageddon! He doesn't question the moral dichotomy of good and evil! He- 

     No, I mean, why are you dressing up to go to a convention? 

     Oh. Wow, Dear Reader, you don't know squat about geek culture, do you? Okay, sit down, this is going to be another long one:

The City is Afraid of Me. I've Seen Its True Face.

The City is Afraid of Me. I've Seen Its True Face.

     For those of you who might be new to this blog, assuming anybody has ever read it ever (which I'm not counting on, just so I'm not let down when I find out one way or the other), I write and post extremely nerdy things. For instance, two of my posts last month were as follows: using a blockbuster movie as an analogue for an international crisis that has left hundreds dead and cost billions of dollars; and an interminably long and winded analysis of the phenomenon known as Comic Con. 

     

     Today, I assure you, will be as nerdy or even more nerdy than any of my previous posts. 

     Read on, if you feel you have the stomach for extreme geekiness.